It genuinely feels crazy that it’s already February haha! So for me this week has been quite a big week in terms of my choices and just generally making myself feel better and happier in such the big hopes and dreams I have planned for 2017.
January, was definitely not my favourite month lets put it that way! Looking back, I think that January was out to test me, my friendships, my happiness and in a way to help me find myself a bit more. There were moments when I honestly felt like giving up, crying, and just shutting myself away, yet I could just never relax. Ever! Have you ever felt just not yourself, where your mind would just continuously think the worst, where you would spend nearly all your time worrying and almost walking around in a daze? That’s exactly how I felt!
I was constantly overthinking and just worrying about EVERYTHING. I would say I knew something wasn’t right when I just didn’t feel me, when people would always ask me if I was okay as they knew something wasn’t right. I ended up seeing a teacher about everything, more than once (before the lowest times she knew about everything) but I think that one time was probably the worst I got, when I felt like I could no longer eat and went through a few days of eating next to nothing and having sleepless nights. It just so happened that that day I was at my worst, when I hadn’t slept the night before and hadn’t eaten anything was the day of my parents evening. My parents, me and the teacher discussed it and I finally came almost like at peace with myself that I was most likely suffering anxiety.
From then on I had a rocky few days, but after not eating anything kind of scared me, I began to think myself into the right place and something clicked within me, when I finally started to realise how maybe things could actually be falling into place and not falling apart.
Just over a week on from one of my worst times, I can now say I am feeling much “better” if that makes sense, in myself. I know I still have a way to go, but I also know that things from now on can only get better and I’m determined to make this my year. I think that as they say, we are all much stronger than we believe and we’ve all got this.
I’m sorry this post was quite long, but I hoped you liked it 🙂